If you are a parent, you know that sometimes your emotions overwhelm you and you may vent your anger on your child. This situation must have happened to every parent and it is completely normal. The good news is that parents can change the way they talk to their children and talk to them respectfully instead of shouting. Shouting and yelling at children can have a negative effect on their brain and emotions. The child's trust in you will be lost, but this is not only a complication of the common behavior of today's parents, but children with these loud cries will suffer serious mental and physical problems.
The short and useful answer to this question is that drowning in anger causes parents to raise their voices against their children, but it should be noted that shouting and violence rarely solve the problem. Shouting may silence the child and make them obedient for a short time, but it does not cause them to change their behavior and attitude, in other words, it makes them afraid of you. Understand the consequences of their actions. Children trust their parents to learn. If anger and aggression are part of what the child knows is normal in their family, it is also reflected in their behavior.
Author and parent educator Laura Markham sends a message to parents: Your number one job as a parent is to manage your own emotions after ensuring your children's safety.
Anyone who has ever yelled at their child knows that raising their voices against children not only does not make the parents' message clearer, but also encourages children to be accompanied and disciplined. It gets even harder because every time a parent yells at their child, the child's acceptance goes lower and lower.
Recent research from a reputable source shows that shouting makes children physically and verbally aggressive, and it does not matter what the parents are shouting at their child for, no matter what the reason. It is an expression of anger, which frightens children and makes them feel insecure, and on the other hand, it is a calm and reassuring expression that makes children feel loved by their parents, even if they do something wrong. Becoming and receiving acceptance.
Just as shouting at children is wrong, shouting at verbal abuse and punishment is also known as emotional abuse and has long-term effects such as anxiety, low self-esteem, and increased aggression. It also makes them prone to misbehavior, such as bullying, because their perception of right and wrong is very poor.
Here are some of the consequences of shouting at children:
Confidence has a lot to do with how a child grows. Self-confidence means loving oneself, believing in one's own abilities, valuing oneself, self-respect, and etc., and when a child becomes self-confident, he or she is able to create a very rich world around him or her. While the constant experience of parents shouting at the child causes an infinite drop in the child's self-confidence. This causes him to question his choices and actions and not be confident in his actions, and it can also lead to anxiety and a constant need for approval by others. The more the child experiences these negative situations, the more difficult they become for him.
Shouting can have a wide variety of effects on different children, which also depends on the child's social status. Aggressive behavior is one of these results. Discomfort, restlessness, and thoughtless actions are seen in some of these children. These characteristics have a great impact on the relationships of these children with their peers, and any small incident can lead to outbursts that are difficult to control.
Constant fear of parents is another common effect of screaming and cursing in children, which can make the child so silent that he is unable to express his beliefs and feelings clearly. The friendly relationship that the child should have with his parents is also affected.
They feel constantly judged and tend to hide their true feelings for fear of being attacked.
Although it may seem a little far-fetched at first, medical conditions such as physical disability can occur that can be directly related to the stress experienced by the child. It can also cause depression and withdrawal in the child, which also affects his development. Many children's habits are created as a direct result of the environment in which they are located, and a repressive environment can have serious limitations.
All of the above are the effects that screaming has on a child. Can we consider shouting as an emotional abuse? Experts equate shouting at children with physical abuse, or in some cases even worse, and they also claim that shouting is not just raising one's voice, but the effect of words and body language can cause panic and destructive effects on the child.
Shouting is caused by parents not being aware of any alternative behavior in the same situation, but there are behaviors that should be practiced by parents instead of using violence.
Difficult situations can unfavorably lead to violence, and therefore, parents who face this situations can control them by being aware of the consequences of violence and trying to control it. Instead of shouting, parents can use precise words to warn their child to correct their behavior, which requires patience in difficult situations, and it is also important that parents allow their child to act as a child.
Sometimes, even if they misbehaved, parents need to be calm, and after all, parents should not expect their child to grow up too soon and behave wisely, in other words, parents' expectations of children should be realistic.
Parents can also explain their feelings to their child instead of shouting at him or her. Telling the child that what he or she did is wrong and also telling the bad consequences that the children's actions may have is better than threatening. So there are several options that parents can use instead of shouting and children can choose between them.
Before doing anything when you are angry, it is best to stay away from the environment in which you are and wait a few minutes for the anger to subside, which will also help children control their emotions in the right way.
Anger is a natural feeling that anyone can experience. By acknowledging all emotions, from joy and excitement to sadness, anger, jealousy, and despair, one can teach their child that all of these emotions are part of human’s record.
Talking about your feelings encourages your child to do what his or her parents expect him or her to do, and this helps the child to have a respectful attitude towards themselves and others and to build healthy relationships in their lives.
Sometimes children engage in inappropriate behavior as part of their growing up. Parents need to talk to them firmly, in a way that their self-esteem is not damaged, so that they realize that what they have done has been unbearable.
Instead of talking to them from above or from a distance, it is better for the parents to be by their side and resolve the issue among themselves with respectful behavior.
According to Barbara Clorosso, author of "Children Are Worth It!", using threats and punishment will increase feelings of anger, dissatisfaction, and conflict. In addition, long-term threats and punishments will prevent the child from developing inner discipline.